Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Left My First Love

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with life, in constant worry of what "could" happen?

Life has been that way for me...

This last year has been full of so much opportunity and blessing. Every day God has been so faithful and overwhelmingly forgiving of all my mistakes and less then perfect life towards Him.

2 Timothy 2:13 If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

It's so easy to get caught up in business, opportunity, life and just the everyday needs that I forget to remember the reason for which I live. I so often forget the purpose for which Jesus Christ laid down His life and so graciously called me to Himself, so that He might dwell within.

Romans 2:4 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

If ever this verse is true it's now. Life has seemed like a whirl wind in a sea of opportunity and business but in the midst of it all, somewhere, I "lost my first love". Beginning to focus more on the opportunity He put before me and less and less on the God who provided the opportunity. My prayers became more self centered, focused the worries of tomorrow, with little to no thought for the lost or the furthering of His kingdom. Saying with my life "God provide and I'll serve" and He says "no, serve and I'll provide".

Revelation 2:2-5 ...I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name's sake, and have not grown weary. 'But I have this against you, that you have left your first love 'Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first...Revelation 2: 2-5

With everything thats going on, these self centered prayers have become more and more prevalent. I found them full of worry, begging God, rather then contentment and trust. I developed an attitude of thinking I deserved it, rather then an attitude of thankfulness and rest in His perfect plan. If the Lord lifts you up, does He not have the right to bring you down again?

I ran across an about me section on a friends Facebook page, it reads.... "About me: Its not about me. Its about Him. Not my will be done but His. "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."

It hit me hard when I read this and made me sad to think that I had so slowly, slipped into this disgusting, self centered view of life.

So pray for me, that more than business, more than opportunity, and more than tomorrow, pray that I remember the purpose for which I have been called and that I depend fully on His abiding strength that dwells within. Pray that I continue to realize the faithfulness of an ever loving God and that I continue to serve Him, moment by moment, trusting that He knows and is more then able.

Ephesians 3:14-21 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:14-21

Psalm 1
How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.
The wicked are not so,
But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the wicked will perish.

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